The new traditions of marriage and families in the city that never sleep

SOC 220

Fall 2013 Semester

Jeff Rosenfeld, Ph.D., Professor

Take-Home Exam #1

Answer all 3 parts of question #1  

(50 points)

1a.        Harriet Presser worries that “Tag Team Marriages” are unhappy and dysfunctional.   Does she claim that “Tag-Team” work makes the marriages unhappy; or that unhappily married people flee into “Tag-Team” routines?  Add a quote (and page #) from her essay to back up your answer.  

10 points) 

Answer 1a Harriet Presser’s Essay the Economy That “Never Sleeps” is a very critical analysis on “Tag Team Marriages”.  Harriet Presser’s essay is very clear cut; her tone is very objective, and serious. She has many statistics on “Tag Team Marriages”, single mothers, income, and the number of shifts hours tag team couples work whether it is days, nights, weekends or nonstandard shifts.  In fact, Harriet Presser starts her essay “The Economy That Never Sleeps” with a very important and significant statistic “Forty percent of American of the labor force works mostly during nonstandard times in the evenings, overnight, or rotating or variable shifts.” “These schedules challenge American families particularly those with children.” (pg 389).This statistic makes a powerful statement about how challenging it is to raise a family in society today, due to our   24/7 American economy. The economy that indeed never sleeps because people are fiercely battling to make money to pay bills, buy a house in a good neighborhood, which leads to school, which then lead  to a good education  for the future,  so people can move up in the social  ladder. This is all order to achieve the “American dream” if the dream still exists in 24/7 American economy. The number of shifts hours tag team couples work whether it is days, nights, weekends or nonstandard shifts is the reason why Harriet Presser worries that “Tag Team Marriages” are unhappy and dysfunctional.   Harriet Presser does not that unhappily married people flee into “Tag-Team” routines; but she is in fact claiming that “Tag-Team” work makes the marriages unhappy because of non standard work shifts. There “Is a severe amount of stress on tag team marriages as a result of the tag team couple’s work load and competing demands of the spouses and children if the tag team couples have any children. Harriet Presser says “Late and rotating work schedules seem particularly damaging on marriages when the couple has children at home.” Tag team marriage couples do not spend enough time together if they spend any time with their spouses. According to Harriet Presser “If the arriving spouse gets home early enough there may be an hour when both are there together.” “But  the pressures  of the work day fresh for one and awaiting for the other, and with  the children clamoring for  parental attention,  there isn’t a promising moment for  a serious conversation. “  (pg 390).  Harriet Presser says “ I found in sample of 3,500 married Couples that those in which one spouse  works late shifts  report having substantially less quality  time together and more marital unhappiness.”  Tag team marriage couples with children have an increased chance to separate or divorce.  Neither working the evening shits  do not seem to endanger  the marriages ,  as a result people might a misconception that spouses choose to work the night shifts because they are in unhappy marriages, this is not true.  In realty Tag team marriage couples Harriet Presser data  says “ the  opposite  that tag team  couples are not unhappily married,  but that tag team marriage work hours non standard work shifts  and their strained lifestyles .                1B did your own interview with somebody in a tag-team relationship find that this was an unhappy relationship?

ANSWER TO 1B  

Susan Crass is forty eight years old single mother with 3 jobs.  Susan had been married and widowed. Susan married her high school sweet heart John who died in a car accident in 2005, then in 2010 Susan married Frank. She is very happy in her marriage ` to Frank with her children. She is very unhappy, that she works the night shift at Wal-Mart three nights she works twelve hours on Saturday and Sunday. She works 120 hours a month.   She works the night shifts at Wal-Mart from 10pm to 7 am Monday through Wednesday including some holidays like black Friday.  Susan is very frustrated that she only has dinner once or twice a week with her family who she does not get to spend enough quality time together.  She cannot afford child care. Susan says “My in-laws hate me working night shifts because it is a bad influence on kids I often have to ask my parents and friends to babysit the kids. Susan says “I eat alone every other night““I never have time to clean the apartment everything gets piled up.  Susan feels as if “my love life is rushed no time intimacy with Frank. Susan is not unhappy with her tag team marriage; she is unsatisfied with her nonstandard work shifts in tag team marriage. In fact Susan‘s advice to me was to “you should never get into a tag team marriage.” “It is too complicated and frustrating stressful the economy that never sleeps sucks real marriage 

1C for many families, the American Dream is having a home in a “Good Neighborhood,” which means a safe neighborhood with good schools.  How does this explain “Why Middle-Class Mothers & Fathers Are Going Broke”; and why Gwen Thomason is so worried (pp. 377-380); and why children from “Missing Class” families often do not attend college (pp. 397-400)?

(30 points)

Answer to 1 c 

Gwen Thomason is so worried about her family many reasons.   First of all, she works as a clerk in an office, and her husband George recently got fired from his job in a furniture factory, after three years of working for the company. As a result, of being unemployed George Tomalson is very angry; he has not work in more than 2 years. George says” if you are a black man in this country you don’t have  a chance not a chance .” it like no matter how hard you try  you are nothing but trash … “ White people are  complaining that blacks are getting a break.” (pg 377)  In reality that is true African Americans have less job opportunities that white in society.  George has a lot of resentment over not finding a job, he is good with hands and he want to be a carpenter, but he cannot get into a union because George is discriminated against for being African Americans. In addition, Gwen Tomalson is so worried about the intensity of George‘s resentment problem his mood and personalities change “he used to be a “real even guy “he is very moody not.   The Tomalsons have 3 children.   Gwen Tomalson is so worried the kids at school because she is always hearing about kids in their neighborhood getting shot every day.  Gwen Tomalson is so worried because the Tomalson family in a housing project in a very unsafe neighborhood which leads to bad schools which than lead a bad education. The schools are underfunded, over crowed. There is also a of crime, drugs and delinquency are less of a problem in near- poor neighborhoods than they are in blighted ghettos, but they are down the block, within earshot, and close enough to threaten their kids. PG 397) Therefore, the Tomalson children are not unprepared for college or the workforce or the world around them. The children‘s grades on standard tests or school entrance exams are deficient no college education means no social mobility into a good neighborhood,  the Tomalson children have no bright future to escape the harsh reality of their neighborhood this is why Gwen Tomalson is so worried about her life and her children. 

The Middle Class children cannot get in good colleges and the Tomalsons and  many other families children do not have a  future  because they cannot afford a college education, so teen join the military so  they can have a future, money  to  get a    college education more opportunities to  get a  job.  This is in order to move into a good safe neighborhood buy a house and move up the social ladder to get a better life. The reason why middle class families are going broke is because the wages they   make are barely enough to survive let alone to have a life family house, college education.  The middle class families do not have enough resources if the middle class is the “Missing Class.” This “missing class” is composed households earning roughly between $20,000 and $40,000 for a family of four. The hard-won wages of missing class families place them beyond the reach of most policies that speak to the conditions of life among the poor”   (pg 397).   Sending their teens to college is very difficult for the near poor, parents are poorly prepared to give their children advice on   the college admissions process and schools are overwhelmed with getting the kids to graduate in the first place.  In addition the near poor middle class teen students work many hours while they are still in high school, students cannot see their guidance counselors, and who struggle to complete homework assignments that no one can help them with. Children are not unprepared for college or the workforce or the world around them. The children‘s grades on standard tests or school entrance exams are deficient no college education means no social mobility  to move into a good neighborhood  Sadly “ The Missing Class families earnings are barely above   the poverty line so these families do not alert the national radar so as a result the government does not care about the “ little people”  unfortunately. “ The Missing Class is treated like a minority group by the government but “The Missing Class”   is a majority of the population of working middle class citizens they are the most vulnerable people to our big 24/7American economy. The economy that indeed never sleeps because people are fiercely battling to make money to pay bills, buy a house in a good neighborhood, which leads to school, which then leads   to a good education  for the future,  so people can move up in the social  ladder. This is all order to achieve the “American dream” if the dream still exists in 24/7 American economy.   These are the reasons why The Missing Class”   citizens who are really the middle class cannot afford a college education for their children.  

 2a Why does Why does an essay about dating vs. hook-up’s (pp. 134-153) belong in a book entitled Family in Transition?  Add at least one quote from Kathleen Bogle’s essay in your answer.   (10 points) 

Answer to 2a An essay about dating vs. hook-up’s belong in a book entitled Family In Transition because the family is always changing with the social patterns of society.  There are many different types of families for example there are two parents families, single parent families, divorced families, nuclear families.   The type of family you have depends on the time period you in and how you define family, but no matter where you are in the world there is some sort of family unit.  The family is the most important social unit in society today it is essential for survival because of reproduction the family also provides people with comfort, support and a sense of identity.  Kathleen Bogle’s essay about dating vs. the hookup teaches you about generation gaps of   family over time and the different living conditions. The essay is showing how pre modern traditional family’s idea of dating compares to 21 century family’s idea of   the hookup and the changes in family dynamics.  Tag team marriages and the hookup  did not exist before the 21st century but dating is becoming obsolete because  the younger generation of people  is moving away from traditional marriage and dating to the modern hookup in this fast pace society  to save money and time.  Now that people are getting married later, college students are less likely to think of themselves as adults.  An important similarity between dating and hooking up scripts is that men continue to hold most of the power. “Even though women have more power now than they did in the dating era, it is not the power to initiate, but the ability to ultimately get what they want that demonstrate men's continuing dominance. Much has changed since the dating era, some changes can be seen as an improvement, and others can be viewed as a negative. The double standard does still remain, and some argue that men also benefited from the sexual revolution.” (Pg 144-145).  Dating and hookups are both social scripts that are paths that lead to intimate relationships which lead to marriage and the formation of a family.  Kathleen Bogle’s comparison of dating vs. the hookup shows the differences in sexual behavior and intimacy from the dating era to the modern hookup era. Kathleen Bogle’s is trying to predict the future of marriage and family,  if the younger generation people is moving away from a planned social script with rules to unorganized spontaneous modern social script where people  are often looking for sex which leads to intimacy then a strong relationship that may or may not lead to  marriage and family. These are the main reasons Kathleen Bogle’s essay about dating vs. hook-up’s belongs in a book entitled Family in Transition and in sociology 220 class discussion. 

2b.        Chapter 4 of Family In Transition is entitled “Sexuality and Society”.   This is where we find Margaret Talbot’s essay, 

“Red Sex, Blue Sex” (pp. 154-160).  What does this essay teach us about “Sexuality and Society”?  And what does Amy Scalet’s essay, “Raging Hormones, Regulated Love”?  teach us about “Sexuality and Society”?  Add at least 1 finding from Talbot’s essay, and 1 finding from Amy Chalet’s essay in your answer.  (35 points)

Answer to 2b Red Sex, Blue Sex essay teaches us about “Sexuality and Society” we learn there are two different attitudes and perspectives on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to teenage sex and teen pregnancy.  It also depends on the society’s s culture and government. For example blue democratic states are more liberal when it comes to teenage sex and teen pregnancy; where as red states are completely conservative when it comes to teenage sex and teen pregnancy.  Religion also plays a huge role on a society sexual attitudes and behaviors. Each society has own unique culture with a set of ethics, moral values, social norms that they follow in their society that is very different from American culture.   For example in American culture, an abortion and divorce are socially accepted a young woman can choose to have the baby or not.  A delegate from Louisiana told CBS News, “Like so many other American families who are in the same situation, I think it’s great that she instilled in her daughter the values to have the child and not to sneak off someplace and have an abortion.” A Mississippi delegate claimed that “even though young children are making that decision to become pregnant, they’ve also decided to take responsibility for their actions and decided to follow up with that and get married and raise this child.”(155).  On the hand, evangelical teens  and Hasidic Jews come from red states which practice abstinence purity balls, and do not get to  choose to have an abortion they are forced to have one.  In fact In  Hasidic Jewish culture divorce is not allowed  it Is forbidden.‹The same goes for evangelical teens the parents even disown their daughters if teen pregnancies occur the fathers of the baby often leave the inexperienced wives to fend for themselves, there is little or no family support for  evangelical teenage girls.  There  is a big difference in what evangelical believe and what they actually do,  evangelical teens believe in abstinence until marriage, but they are about sixteen or younger when they start having sex and evangelical teens have the highest teen pregnancy rates ironically they know about birth control pills but they are less likely to use them.  Moreover, among the major religious groups, evangelical virgins are the least likely to anticipate that sex will be pleasurable, and the most likely to believe that having sex will cause their partners to lose respect for them. (Jews most often cite pleasure as a reason to have sex and say that an unplanned pregnancy would be an embarrassment.) But, according to Add Health data, evangelical teen-agers are more sexually active than Mormons,) (155). Some of these differences in sexual behavior come down to class and education. [The researchers] all see a new and distinct “middle-class morality” taking shape among economically and socially advantaged families who are not social conservatives. In Regnerus’s survey, the teen-agers who espouse this new morality are tolerant of premarital sex (and of contraception and abortion) but are themselves cautious about pursuing it. Regnerus writes, “They are interested in remaining free from the burden of teenage pregnancy and the sorrows and embarrassments of sexually transmitted diseases. They perceive a bright future for themselves, one with college, advanced degrees, a career, and a family. (Simply put, too much seems at stake. Sexual intercourse is not worth the risks.” These are the kids who tend to score high on measures of “strategic orientation”—how analytical, methodical, and fact-seeking they are when making decisions. Because these teen-agers see abstinence as unrealistic, they are not opposed in principle to sex before marriage—just careful about it. (157-159). Amy Scalet’s essay, “Raging Hormones, Regulated Love”?  teaches  us that every culture has different value morals social norms, when it comes to sex Dutch American teens from the Netherlands are very liberal when it come to Intimate relationships culture is very unique from American culture because their society believes sexual relationships are completely driven by hormones

“Hormones.  seem to be the first thing that comes to mind when American parents are asked about teenagers. Raging hormones metaphorically represent the notion of teenage sexuality as an individual, overpowering force that is difficult for teenagers to control. Ronda Fursman can see her son's "testosterone bubbling." Calvin Brumfield's son's hormones kicked in early." Back then, Adam's "hormones were just raging ..., they're still raging." Nor is it just boys who are thought to be beset by hormones. Harriet Mears believes both girls and boys "are completely hormonally driven. (135).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We  ARE socialize to c become masculine or feminine. Amy Scalet’s essay, “Raging Hormones, Regulated Love”?  Teaches us to explore the social and cultural construction of gender differences. Amy Scalet’s essay, teaches  us to examine sex and gender internationally. Amy Scalet’s essay discusses gender differences in intimacy and friendships.

2c.        In your personal opinion, why do American women now crave a bridal shower and bachelorette party; and why don’t American men want or need a Groom’s Shower”?   (5 points)

Answer to 2c. In my opinion American women now crave a bridal shower and bachelorette party, because young women need have a last chance of freedom before the transition from a single woman to a responsible parent.  American women want to have fun be carefree one last time with their friends to just be a wild single woman  talk let loose independence  they want  sexual attention from men like strippers that they cannot get any other place than a bachelorette party.  A bachelorette party is the one place that women can forget about all of their worries, stress weddings plans any problems they have worries about the future, marriage.  American women need a bachelorette party as outlet from stress from life and transition  from a  single woman to a married woman American women want a bridal shower to celebrate the from a  single woman to a married woman to motherhood and the future family.  American men want or need a “Groom’s Shower” because they are more sexual desire than woman and they only experience one major life transition from single men to fatherhood.  MEN ARE LESS ATTACHED TO THEIR EMOTIONS AND THEY DO NOT TO CELEBRATE Fatherhood but they need a bachelor party for the same reasons women do