-

 There is a vision of myself that exists in my head. Sometimes it feels like a secret. So often talk of taking up space, not trying to hide my disability, being proud and creative, and those things are true. I believe them, and I don't hide. But occasionally, I am a person who can make herself small in my head. I can slip between narrow aisles in an antique store, crouch on the floor of a record shop and find some gem covered in dust, tiptoe barefoot between rows of herbs in a garden. 

I don't have to get anxious wondering whether I'm taking too much space. Sometimes, in my head, I grieve for the person whose life I don't get to try. For the person who doesn't have the option of making herself small. Sometimes I want it so badly, to explore the places I can't fit, go unnoticed down a street, that the grief sits on my chest like rocks. Who knows who I might or could have been had I not been born this way. I don't write this to make you lamentable, or worse, to elicit pity. I write this because it's my reality with a disability.

I can be proud and grieving. Happy and grieving. Grateful and grieving. Boisterous and grieving. Alive and grieving. Sometimes, even on a beautiful day, an afternoon spent with my favorite person, walking on the beach, yes, even on a day like that, I grieve a little. The good days, though they are wonderful, they are still challenging. Sometimes, I imagine what it would be like not to be disabled. It doesn't make you a "bad" person to wish it was different, to wish for a life without constant barriers and the need to be resourceful. I love my body, count my many blessings, and love my life. I am not ashamed of my disability or who I am, but sometimes, I want to try things to be a little easier, even if it's only in my head...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Syria humanitarian Criss

-
  Islamophobia Adds to he Syrian Refugee Crisis  Racism has been reflected in discriminatory laws, practices, and actions (including violence) against racial or ethnic groups throughout the history of the United States. Since the early colonial era, White Americans have generally enjoyed legally or socially-sanctioned privileges and rights that have been denied to members of various ethnic or minority groups. European Americans have enjoyed advantages in matters of citizenship, criminal procedure, education, immigration, land acquisition, and voting rights. Before 1865, most African Americans were enslaved; since the abolition of slavery, they have faced severe restrictions on their political, social, and economic freedoms. Native Americans have suffered genocide, forced removals, and massacres, and they continue to face discrimination. European Americans, Hispanics, Middle Eastern, and Asian Americans, along with Pacific Islanders, have also been the victims of discrimination...
Read more

Free Palestine

-
 your passion intact while improving clarity, structure, and impact: --- # **Stop the Genocide in Palestine** The world must wake up to the genocide happening in Palestine. Israel is not the victim in this conflict—the Palestinian people are suffering daily under occupation, oppression, and relentless attacks. Yet, the media distorts the truth, painting Palestinians as terrorists while portraying Israel as the oppressed. This pattern reflects a larger issue: the media's reluctance to show the suffering of non-white populations and its role in reinforcing racist stereotypes. The media rarely gives full coverage to the struggles of marginalized communities—whether Native Americans, Chinese, Italian immigrants, African Americans, people with disabilities, or women, especially Muslim women. Stories of oppression and resistance from these groups are often ignored, manipulated, or framed in ways that dehumanize them. This systemic bias allows injustices, like the current massacre in Pale...
Read more

Syrian refugees and the rest of the world

-
 Sarah Elgohary                                                                           We need to help refugee I remembered that paper Most people do not know how serious the Syrian refugee crisis is. This is because Western societies only react and pay attention to a problem when celebrities make a statement about an issue, rather than their government. This is especially the case with Syrian refugees because many politicians especially Republicans are using fear and Islamophobia to create biased policies in order to ban the entire Muslim race and stop accepting Syrian refugees, even if a majority of them are innocent people who are in need of projection not violent meaningless killing of other Innocent people. This xenophobic action is simply based on the stereotype that all Muslims are rad...
Read more