Would añyone care

 The Star that Vanished Leaving Stardust Short Fiction 

Intended Audience: 16+

Each star illuminates the vibrant night sky in Boston, but what happens when one star disappears? Will anyone notice? Is it lost forever or does it exist somewhere else? Each star is many light years away from each other. Just like one of those stars, I'm lonely, I'm so far away from the one I love. I feel upset all the time because one of the stars that brought me sunlight is gone. The sun, the brightest star in my sky, is gone and no one seems to notice and no one seems to care. 

Why don’t we as people care? Maybe it’s because we’re too caught up in our problems to notice what anyone else is going through. Desires like food, music, and clothes take over our lives. We don’t seem to notice how fast time is moving with or without us. Everyone is going about their day like nothing happened. 

I feel upset almost every day. I don’t know how to make this feeling go away. Why didn’t I notice any signs earlier? Why wasn’t I there for her? I wrote on the calendar inside the door of my closet as a way for me to get my thoughts out. She used to make me write inspirational quotes each day. She made me use post-its when I couldn’t fit the quote into the tiny box of the calendar. 

Today, December 19, I wrote: "Do not incline towards those who do wrong.” I usually use verses from the Qur’an and quotes from famous poets to write on my calendar. This English translation of a verse from the Qur’an meant that we shouldn’t stay towards people that do wrong because it might influence us to do wrong as well. What Kamila did was wrong but she realized it was wrong even though it was too late. I hoped Allah would forgive Kamila for what she was about to do.

I told her “If I write quotes on my calendar, where do I put important reminders?” She just replied saying “If they’re so important you should just remember them. Besides, having a calendar with inspirational quotes for each day is so much better for your mental health.” 

The smallest of things remind me of her. I use a 0.3 mm gel pen I think of her and how she loved using these pens. When I eat a double stuffed oreo cookie I think of her and how she always ate the cream before eating the cookie. 

My parents never approved of me hanging out with Kamila because rumors spread around at school saying she was gay. I told my parents that those were just rumors and even if she did like girls it doesn’t mean I do. I’ve never even dated anyone and I don’t want to either. I’m more focused on getting into Fordham University than anything else. I already have my future planned out by my parents. I’ll get arranged married just like my parents by the time I’m 22 and have graduated from college. 

I listen to everything my parents say, but I didn’t listen to them when they told me to stop being friends with Kamila. After all, I’ve been friends with her since the second grade and we were best friends for 10 years and counting. My parents used to love Kamila until someone at school told Kamila’s parents that she had pictures of some of our girl classmates in her locker. Kamila never dated anyone before, but I guess she had crushes on people. 

Kamila rarely confided in me about her problems and sometimes she avoided me when I tried to talk to her. I stopped coming to her house and she stopped coming to mine. We still talked in school but not as much as we used to. I started distancing myself from her even though we were friends for 10 years. We were still best friends but we just weren’t that close as we were before.

It’s been three months since she died but I just can’t move on. Somehow I feel like it was my fault she tried to kill herself because I wasn’t there for her. After the locker incident, she looked upset at times and I just didn’t know what to do. I asked her what was wrong but then she just brought the conversation back to me. I was getting hate on Instagram from people that disliked my mangas. She comforted me with my problems but didn’t let me do the same with her. 

Kamila’s strict Muslim parents forgave her for having pictures of her classmates in her locker because Kamila explained to them how she never acted upon her feelings. She knew what was right and wrong in Islam and wouldn’t do anything that would upset her parents. Since her parents let the whole situation go, I thought Kamila was fine. 

I didn’t understand why she even thought of killing herself. The thought of her committing suicide never even occurred to me. I thought Kamila knew. All the hardships we go through, we have to overcome. We need to be optimistic about life so that Allah grants us happiness. Killing oneself is one of the worst possible acts one can do. 

After I thought Kamila killed herself, I hated her for it. I thought she was being selfish. I had all these thoughts wandering through my head. How could she leave without saying goodbye? Why would she do that to her family? How could she give up on life when it never gave up on her? 

When the police officers found Kamila’s behind her apartment, I cried a lot. It felt like a part of me jumped off the apartment window. 

She was at home the day she died. Her parents called her for school the next day and she didn’t respond. When they came into her room they saw that the whole window was opened and

called the police immediately. The next day when I called Kamila after school asking why she wasn’t at school today, her parents picked up and told me that she died. The police officers concluded that she died around 11 pm when her parents were asleep. 

I didn’t know why she did it. But then I thought maybe she was getting hate from other Muslims about the whole locker incident. I thought only me, my parents, Kamila, her parents, and that girl that told Kamila’s parents knew about it. That girl, Safiyyah, promised Kamila’s parents that she wouldn’t tell anyone, but maybe she lied. People always lie so it wasn’t very surprising that maybe Safiyyah did. 

It turns out Safiyyah did tell other people. She was questioned by the principal of our school and the police officers that were in charge of Kamila’s case. 

The police officers found that Kamila got hate messages on Instagram from kids at our school and strangers about her being sinful and haram. They didn’t know the whole story, but they bullied her constantly for it. I also found out that people at school bullied Kamila when I wasn’t around and she didn’t do anything about it. She never told me about the hate she was receiving so I just assumed she was fine. I thought the whole situation was over as it happened months before she died. 

I constantly asked her over and over again if she was receiving hate, but she told me she wasn’t and moved on to the next subject. She knew I was the sensitive one so she didn’t want to upset me with her problems. Or maybe we weren’t that close anymore so she didn’t trust me with her problems. I didn’t know what to think. 

Later on, the police officers concluded that she didn’t die from suicide but from attempting suicide. They said that maybe she was so upset that day from all cyberbullies that she

opened the whole window and stood on the edge of the window. But she didn't jump. The police officers said that maybe she saw a pigeon or some sort of object in the air that distracted her. No one saw her die so the officers weren’t sure about what exactly happened. 

The officers found signs of struggle on her hands and saw that her fingers were holding on to the edge of the window for a long time. She yelled and screamed but nobody came to save her. She couldn’t hold on to the window any longer and died. 

All this time I thought she killed herself. She tried to but she didn’t. She still wanted to live but no one was there to save her when she changed her mind. Humans act on impulses, we make hasty decisions without thinking and don’t think about the consequences at times. 

Kamila acted on impulse and she died. I’m so upset that I couldn’t save her. It’s all my fault, I wasn’t there for her and didn’t notice when she needed help. She died without leaving any sort of note but her legacy will live on. That day she didn’t plan on dying but she did. 

All the memories her family had with her will exist forever. All the memories I had with her will be eternal. Even though I can’t see that bright star in the sky anymore, this doesn’t mean that star doesn't exist anymore. She will live on through my memories and everyone else that loved her. As well as though everyone she loved. 

I was happy she didn't want to end her life at the end. She learned the value of life even if things didn't go her way. I miss her so much but if she was here she would want me to be happy. She wouldn't want me to think that her death was my fault. She was like a sister to me and I to her.

One day I asked Kamila what she wanted to be when she grew up and said "Okay Aiza I’ll give you a real answer. I want to be happy and make other people happy, I know it's cliché but life wouldn't have value if we didn’t send it in happiness.” 

While others would talk about becoming an engineer or a doctor, Kamila was different. She wanted to live a life helping others. 

Kamila had a good soul, but people bullied her regardless of the good person she was. She didn’t give up on life before she died. I’m happy my friend learned the value of life before she died. In the end, she had trust in Allah and didn’t want to give up on life just yet. 

Allah put us on this Earth as his creations so we can follow the right path and be good people. We go through hard times but we should be happy even through the pain. Hardship and pain intensifies our happiness. 

There are 7.8 billion people in this world and 100 billion stars in the milky way. When a star dies it leaves behind stardust. When a human dies it leaves behind the memories and experiences it had with other people. And that person leaves behind the good and the bad deeds they left behind on the planet. If we’re not content with life, we won’t be happy in the afterlife. If we don’t put our trust in God that everything we’re going through is happening for a reason, we’ll never be happy with life. Kamila died leaving her stardust to her loved ones and I’ll cherish these specks of brightness forever.

Written Statement: 

This piece represents my individuality through the variety of messages I portrayed in this piece. I wanted to write a fictional story that a variety of people can connect with, such as people who have lost a loved one to suicide, people that have been bullied, and people that have felt that it’s their fault one of their loved ones have died. When writing this piece, I was inspired by a 

verse in Surah Baqarah which means “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.” This verse conveys that Allah won’t give us pain to the point we can’t bear it. In my story, Kamila thought she was in so much pain that she couldn’t bear it. But she could’ve overcome all the hate she was receiving if she kept her trust in Allah and that Allah has a plan for everyone on this planet. Unfortunately, Kamila realized too late that what she was about to do was wrong and didn’t realize soon enough that she could’ve gone through the hardships because Allah gives everyone the strength to persevere and move past our obstacles. Another verse that inspired me was “Do not lose hope, nor be sad.” This verse demonstrates that people shouldn’t stop being optimistic because being optimistic can prevent them from being sad. The narrator of my story, Aiza, stops being optimistic about life after her best friend dies because she thinks it’s her fault and because she misses her best friend very much. Though she lost hope, she gained it again after discovering that her friend didn’t give up on life. She was just destined to die that night. Aiza stopped being sad after finding out the truth and eventually learns the beautiful meaning of life after discovering Kamila didn’t kill herself. 

Throughout this play, I didn’t introduce the name of the narrator until towards the end of the story. I subtly included Aiza’s name into one of the dialogues between Kamila and Aiza. I also tried to be subtle about their grade and how old they are. If the reader adds Kamila and

Aiza’s 10 years of friendship and how they met in second grade, you could infer that They’re both in 12 grade meaning they’ll graduate soon. Thus, adding on to the sadness Aiza feels, it’s her senior year and she’ll have to graduate without her best friend. This tragic death may abruptly crush her plans into getting into her dream school, Fordham. I also subtly tried to include that Aiza and Kamila are both in an Islamic school, thus being a reason why Kamila received so much hate for having pictures of some of her female classmates in her locker when she’s a girl herself. Usually at religious private schools, when kids do things that go against their religion they are prone to more bullying than if they were in an open-minded public school. I also tried to incorporate a metaphor between people and stars throughout my story because of how stars and humans are all wonderful creations of Allah. 

I feel that I conveyed this year’s theme, Trusting the Process: Contentment Through Adversity, in my writing. To me, this year's theme meant that everything happens for a reason. Though everyone goes through hardships, we should always have faith in Allah that through the pain we will find happiness. We should all be optimistic and have a positive outlook on life despite all the struggles we face in life. Everyone struggles in life whether it’s emotionally, physically, or spiritually, it’s the way we deal with life that makes us content and happy with our lives. People should always believe that their lives will get better and that even if they’re not happy they will be happy sometime in their life inshallah. In my story, I wrote about the hardships of two best friends, Aiza and Kamila. Aiza went through the pain of losing a best friend and Kamila went through the pain of being a target of bullying and gossip. Aiza realized right before she died that Allah gives us just the right amount of pain we can handle. And she realized that everyone struggles in life, she stopped thinking about the pain in her life, and she

ended up wanting to live. Aiza went through the loss of someone that was like a sister to her. She experienced a lot of emotional pain, but in the end, she put her faith in Allah and tried to be optimistic about life after all the events that happened in her life.